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Rule #65: Put Your Kid in Timeout at an Orphanage[caption id="attachment_1106" align="alignright" width="300" caption="And you had the audacity to complain about sitting in the... »
Rule #64: Send Your Kid to Mafia Training Camp[caption id="attachment_1077" align="alignright" width="300" caption="In life, you are either the diaper or the shit."]... »
Rule #63: Lie to Your Child About How Important You Are[caption id="attachment_1069" align="alignright" width="350" caption="Watch, son. I sit here and people just hand over money.... »
Rule #62: Tattoo Your Kids With Reckless Abandon[caption id="attachment_1058" align="alignright" width="225" caption="Stop looking at me like that. If you hate it so much just... »
Rule #61: Discourage Most Forms of Reading[caption id="attachment_1050" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Jimmy, put that trash away. Don't you know that crap will... »
Rule #60: Pack Smokes in Your Child’s Lunch[caption id="attachment_1036" align="alignright" width="275" caption="How is your kid gonna survive on a diet like this? More... »
Rule #59: Vacation in a Third World Country[caption id="attachment_1019" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Weren't you the one complaining about taking a bath? That... »
Rule #58: Admit Your Baby Isn’t Cute[caption id="attachment_1011" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Either you can't look at it, or you can't look away.... »
Rule #57: Pick Up Chicks With Your Kid[caption id="attachment_1001" align="alignright" width="350" caption="And if you cry hard enough, he'll probably even change... »
Rule #56: Join Forces With the Monster Under the Bed[caption id="attachment_994" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Just lay low for now, and if he's still awake after 10,... »