Comments on: Rule #49: Steal Your Kid’s Money

By: Kelly

Kelly — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 15:35:21 +0000

“calmly bet double or nothing”………………….thanks for the hernia and busted vein in my eye FKW. Luckily, I just peed, or I’d be thanking you for that as well. If I had kids, not only would I be armed to the teeth with a plethora of sound advice, I would be more inclined to simply institute a service charge for allowing my children to exist on a day to day basis. Call it emotional rent, if you will. I would pull random examples from the Chinese customs when dealing with my girls especially.

By: Bill Dwight at FamZoo

Bill Dwight at FamZoo — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 00:26:46 +0000

I recommend you ditch the quaint & noisy piggy-banks and move to an online allowance system like FamZoo. That way, you can silently pilfer their hard-earned savings from the comfort of your laptop without having to sneak into their room and risk stepping on a painful lego piece in the dark. If they notice something is amiss, just blame it on the hapless company providing the online service. It’s also a great way to teach them not to foolishly trust online service providers with their hard-earned cash.

By: kitty

kitty — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 14:14:49 +0000

I wish you guys were my parents. /tear

By: edie

edie — Wed, 06 May 2009 15:44:43 +0000

DAMN i have been putting straight jack daniels in my kids’ bottles/sippy cups since they were born, so now they love that “special sauce” as i like to call it. obviously i did not realize at the time how this would come back to bite me in the ass.

By: bitchmobile

bitchmobile — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 00:29:16 +0000

Where were you and your blog when I needed you? Now that my kid has grown up, gotten a job with a promotion, not to mention gotten himself a wife- I have very little chance to utilize your bad parenting advice. That is until I have grandkids, muahahahah!

By: Miss C.

Miss C. — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 16:42:08 +0000

“You have no cash these days, and your credit card has become a plastic whore of convenience who lays down any time you’d like.”

OK. That is officially the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Keep up the great work!

By: Father Knows Worst

Father Knows Worst — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:23:45 +0000

@jason: I don't know whether to be more impressed by this, or your legendary list of wang slang from Rule #42. @Dory: I humbly salute your genius. THAT is a brilliant idea.

By: Dory

Dory — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 11:38:14 +0000

Another way to swipe your kid’s bucks… if they’re in about 1st grade or less, they don’t really understand the value of gift cards. Help them pick out one thing and keep the card after you check out. Spend the balance of the card later. Rationalize this shameful behavior as “Hey, parenthood has so few perks and I deserve this. It’s really the least my kid can do considering all I do for him/her.” *evil grin*

By: jason

jason — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 00:45:10 +0000

Other things you should steal from kids: Happy Meal toys, Flintstone’s vitamins, girlfriends, their childhood, ambitions, dreams and hope.

By: Father Knows Worst

Father Knows Worst — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 21:59:05 +0000

@kevin: Did my piggy bank take the bet?

@SillyDad: I think that’s more than fair. You provide an infrastructure, and regardless of how shitty it is, you skim a little love off the top. You deserve it. You know, my Uncle Sam does the same thing.