Anyway: I grew up correcting grammar as a knee-jerk reaction. My parents never let myself or my younger sister get away with “good” vs. “well” (ex: I did WELL, rather than I did GOOD) and they’d correct us all the time – which at least means we both were pretty decent when it came to telling that sort of thing apart come grade school. I have no doubt it annoyed others, however, although I don’t think they meant for us to start correcting others (and my sister doesn’t). I still find myself correcting people without meaning to (usually family and friends, which is worse than a stranger) and my grandmother usually snaps at me and tells me she meant to say GOOD, thanks very much (…which makes it even more fun to correct her).

Of course, I still get corrected whenever anything I say is incorrect. My parents sort of raised us to be sarcastic smart-asses, though. They’d take everything we said super literally to the point where we’d be ridiculously specific, or they’d be sarcastic with us until we sassed them back (to a point) – I’m not sure, really. We’re just a largely sassy / sarcastic family in the way we speak to one another, although we’d be in big trouble if we spoke to anyone outside of the family that way.

by Judith K. Schulze

Golly! I just took a test
That says I’m different from the rest.
What am I? Well, I must confess…
I’m “gifted.”

The psychologist said right from his heart,
“I fear that you are rather smart
And from this day you are to start…
Being gifted.”

I think I turned six shades of green
And developed pains down to my spleen.
I asked, “Whatever does it mean?
This word ‘gifted’?”

He said, “You have a high I.Q.
I wish, my child, that I were you!
Why I’d give an arm or leg or two
To be gifted.

My thoughts immediately went adrift
And each idea I did sift.
At last I said, “Give me my gift.
Then I’ll be gifted!”

He laughed for all that he was worth
And nearly doubled up with mirth.
“This gift you have you’ve had since birth.
You’ve BEEN gifted!”

I thought and then when he was done
I asked, “Am I the only one
In this whole school or under the sun
Who is gifted?”

He named the two or three percent
Of students who to classes went.
And then I knew just what this meant,
About gifted.

It could be the best news I’d heard,
But then I thought about a word
And screamed, “But, must I be a nerd
If I’m gifted?”

He laughed again when I was through.
“My child, you’ll always be just you
But smarter than all except a few
‘Cause you’re gifted.”

“Will I be perfect? Get all A’s?
Make the Honor Roll? Get lots of praise?
Have no homework nights and easy days?
Well, I’m gifted!”

“No, others may expect such things;
Just do your best. Be sure it brings
True joy to YOU! You’ll soar on wings
And enjoy being
Gifted.”

The annoying gifted kids in my son’s school took it as a license to be even MEANER to the ‘regular kids’. It ought to be outlawed.