getting the most out of your kid

Rule #83: Teach Your Child to Shoplift

Rule #73: Use Your Child as a Thermometer

Rule #67: Use Your Stroller as a Battering Ram

Rule #57: Pick Up Chicks With Your Kid

Rule #49: Steal Your Kid’s Money

Rule #46: Exploit Your Kids for Useless Causes

Rule #33: Use Your Child As Cheap Labor

Rule #27: Bribe Your Children With Sugar

Rule #14: Use Your Child’s Birthday to Flaunt Your Cash

Rule #13: Hit on Your Kid’s Teacher

Rule #10: A Happy Child is a Child on a Leash

Rule #9: Boost Your Crappy Self Esteem Through Your Children

Rule #8: Bond With Your Kids Over Cigarettes and Alcohol